Tinkling 101. For You Nasty WencheS!

NASTY GIRLS UNITE!

Better find each other and stick together on this one because I'm about put your ass ON BLAST!

Literally.

What is up with dirty public restrooms? And why are they called restrooms in the first place? The condition of most "rest"rooms are hardly rest worthy. Maybe they should call it the I'm-on-my-period-but-forgot-how-to-wrap-up-my-pad-room..or smells-like-boo-boo-better-hold-your-nose-room. Or I-HATE-SITTING-ON-PUBLIC-TOILET-SEATS-SO-I-SQUAT-OVER-THEM-AND-PEE-ON-THE-SEATS-INSTEAD-BECAUSE-I-HAVE-NO-SENSE-OF-AIM-room.

I use a public ladies room at least twice a day, since i'm rarely home, and they are disgusting. It's something to text about when I enter a public ladies room and it's clean. I've seen , heard and smelled it all:

pubic hairs on the walls

bloody pads in the toilet

bloody tampons on top of the sanitary napkin dispenser (like wtf you couldn't just put it in there?)

crap smeared on the tile

pee on the floor

barf on the door

women barfing in the restroom trashcan

boo boo - farting (it's a diarrhea thing- when u go number two and fart at the same time: stay home!!)

makeup in the toilet

dirty panties hanging from the ceiling vent

toilets clogged with unmentionables...

AND SO ON.

Seriously. Some women have gotten extemely careless with public etiquette..and i'm tired of it. So I'm gonna do something about it. I'm gonna speak out for the tidy and considerate few left and give ya'll nasty skags some tips. Here goes:

*Look down when you squat over the toilet...this way you can clearly see where the stream coming from between your legs is headed.

*Ever heard of seat covers? Those little things that look like toilet seats but are made out of paper? Yea, these really help because they actually fit on top of the toilet seat to shield it from your urine. Neat, right?

*Conserve doing the number two for home. But in case of emergency, try using the last two stalls on the highest floor of whatever buiilding you are in to take care of that. I mean it usually helps the urinators to refrain from being hella close to your grunting, farting, plopping, shuffling, multi-flushing, boo boo smell, etc.

*For the boo boo smell..ONE squirt of whatever fragrance you have in your purse tends to eliminate the harsh after effects of your dookie trip. One squirt means one..please don't over do it.

*For the barfers. Puke outside preferably with your face over a trashcan.

*The concept of hygiene always applies. When you go into a stall and close the door you are not alone. When you pull your panties down to do your business you basically advertise your hyigene skills to the other ladies. For this matter, let's just say a humble vagina smell is usually preferred. If you have a bold (most common: fishy) smell see a doctor and refrain from tinkling in public.

*No seat covers? Use tissue on the seats. please and thank you.

*If you are bleeding this month and you change your sanitary napkin or tampon wrap it in tissue and deposit it IN the bin conveniently placed beside the toilet for you and CLOSE it. This prevent horrific sights and unbearable smells from invading that stall.

* If the sanitary bin is missing, wrap your pad or tampon in tissue and deposit it in the nearest trashcan.

*Sex is not meant to be enjoyed in a public restroom. That is nasty. But so are you whic h is why some of you are in need of reading this.

*If you tinkled on the seat, don't be afraid to take a piece of tissue and wipe YOUR pee up.

Like seriously the list is exhaustive..and i'm exhausted even thinking of ways to help you nasty women. Please take heed if you are a violator of public cleanliness. Just know the members of the clean team are [] that close to exercising our honesty

...publicly.